A Journey through Compassion, Courage, Connection, and Clarity

“Make my words honest and true, economical and few, wise and well-chosen, calm and kind. Give me so much love and grace that this kind of conversation comes naturally to me.” This is my daily mantra at the start of each day.

We have two eyes, two ears, and one mouth, but we also have four chambers in our hearts. If these chambers are closed or empty, our eyes will not see clearly, our ears will not hear the right messages, and we will not speak kindly or truthfully.

Victor Frankl’s Man’s Search for Meaning

I revisited Viktor Frankl’s Man’s Search for Meaning for the third time yesterday. Each reading has offered me a different perspective – initially as a knowledge seeker, then as someone seeking solace, and now as a coach looking for more profound wisdom. The first time I read it, it was purely for knowledge, drawn in by its reputation. The second time, I was burned out and overworked, turning to books as a refuge, a biblio-neurotic searching for answers to life’s challenges. This time, I read it through the lens of a leader and a coach.

In the 76 years since Man’s Search for Meaning was first published, it has been translated into over 50 languages and sold over 16 million copies. The Library of Congress named it one of the ten most influential books in the United States. Frankl, a Holocaust survivor, describes finding hope and kindness in the darkest circumstances of Nazi concentration camps. He emphasizes that even in suffering, people can choose to be compassionate.

“Suffering is an ineradicable part of life, even as fate and death; without suffering and death, human life cannot be complete.”

“It is this spiritual freedom – which cannot be taken away – that makes life meaningful and purposeful.”

Frankl identified three possible sources of meaning:

1. In work – doing something with positive impacts
2. In love – caring for another person.
3. In courage – facing difficult times with strength.

Last June, I had the opportunity to discuss these ideas with about 70 women at a conference. The engaging conversation that followed reinforced how universal the search for meaning truly is. After the session, a woman approached me and asked if I could speak with her college-age daughter, who was feeling lost in her life choices. When I met the young woman, I was energized by her deep, thoughtful questions – ones I often hear from my own Gen Z children and mentees.

The key takeaway is that the meaning of life is deeply personal and ever-changing. Existential frustration emerges when we don’t know our why or doubt that we will ever figure out why we exist and matter.

Frustration and conflict often arise when our experiences do not align with our values. I know personally that anger, fear, and frustration are emotions I do not thrive in. I step back to label, accept, and assess when I feel them rising. What values or principles of mine are being challenged? How can I reopen my heart’s four chambers – my core values? How do I focus on my self-care with a sense of agency?

The Four Chambers of My Heart: Intergenerational Gifts

Just as the heart has four chambers working in harmony to sustain life, my core values – gifts from the generations before and after me – fuel my purpose and empower me as a leader. These values, passed through intergenerational wisdom, shape how I lead, inspire, and serve others:

• Compassion (From My Mother): Like the steady heartbeat rhythm, my mother’s unwavering kindness taught me the power of empathy. Her ability to nurture others, even in the most challenging times, instilled in me the belief that authentic leadership begins with understanding people. That could mean seeking to understand people who may have the opposite views.
• Courage (From My Grandmother): My grandmother’s resilience pulses through me. She endured war, early widowhood, and multiple life heartbreaks, yet she remained steadfast. Her strength taught me to embrace discomfort, take bold action, and lead authentically. As psychologist Susan David, Ph.D. said in her book Emotional Agility, “Courage is fear walking.”
• Connection (From Myself): I have learned that no leader thrives in isolation. My life journey has shown me the power of relationships, trust, and belonging – reminding me that true success is built through meaningful connections and paying it forward. I also stay connected to my inner self and firmly believe in what Freidrich Nietzsche once said: He who has a why to live can bear almost any how.
• Clarity (From My Gen Z Daughter and Son): My children’s questions challenge me to see the world through their fresh eyes. Their ability to cut through the noise, question norms, and seek truth clarifies my purpose, helping me stay grounded in what truly matters. Last Friday, I texted my daughter to check in and see how she is managing the uncertainties and confusion as a Sociology student. Her response warmed my heart: “I have faith in us – we have a strong foundation.”

Returning to Love and Purpose

I will start small and build on this question: What’s the smallest act of kindness or courage at the edge of my comfort zone I can take today? Tomorrow? The next day?

Courage does not always roar. Sometimes, courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, “I will try again tomorrow.” – Mary Anne Radmacher

So, my friends, this is how I returned to love this weekend: by reopening the four chambers of my heart and remembering the intergenerational values that guide me.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

You can download Brené Brown ’s Living Into Our Values exercise using this link to identify your top values.

The views and opinions expressed in this content are my own and do not necessarily reflect the views or positions of any organization I am affiliated with.